"That's a bit OCD don't you think?"

I was told this today by the morning fuel center guy when I came in to the kiosk and checked the drawer total and commented that someone again had dropped a dollar amount into the safe that wasn't a $50 or $100 increment. My reaction to this in my mind?
Really? REALLY!? I wonder if he's never noticed how I rearrange things in the kiosk that he's moved BACK to the way they were. I wonder if he's ever noticed how I move the cones the way I like them and think logically they should be. I wonder if he's ever noticed how many times I do these things. Every shift. And he moves them back. He tries to impose how he works, how he does things on me by letting me know how he does it. I ignore how he does it. How I do it works. I don't like change. I like routine. I like the garbage can to be there when i blindly throw my crumpled notes where it always was, not where I never remember he's moved it to. Because oh gee, I AM OCD! No wonder those things I do "seem a bit OCD" to you. They are! I am!

What I actually said? "Well I am kinda OCD" He replies "Just let it go" I reply "easier said than done" and once have the opportunity to, I do a drop that balances the drop amount to what I think it should be, ending in "50.00" or "00.00" instead of the "10.00" it said when I checked it.

It's how I am. It's what I do. It's who I am. People shouldn't try to change that.

A manager once tried to make me do my section inside the store the "wrong" way. Back before I saturated working out at fuel regularly I was on the sales floor and I recovered and customer serviced the area known as "paint through variety" which was paint, auto, plumbing, tools, lightbulbs, lamps, curtains, rugs, pillows. That was the way I recovered my section. Starting at paint and ending at pillows. Well I made a PIC mad or frustrated with me and she threatened to send me home early if I didn't go to the pillows and recover my section. I tried to tell heer I was going to paint right then to do that, but she was mad or whatev and wouldn't listen to me. So I went to pillows. I really really tried to do them. I did. I wound up sitting on the flor barely straightening the pillows trying really hard not to cry. I couldn't make myself start at pillows.

My coworkers and managers don't have to get it to just accept it as it is. I don't get why people do things sometimes but that doesn't mean I don't accept it. I just shrug and do my thing. That's simple enough a thing to do.

It's like in video games, I have to do my thing, which happens to be everything. I'm not focused on winning the game, getting the max level character, being the highest ranked, I just want to figure out everything. I want to know why that cave is over there. I want to know how the high priestess came into her position. I want to know why the night elves and dwarves get along but the trolls and blood elves are on the other faction. I want to do all the quests even if it's a starting zone quest and worthless for anything more than just doing it. How in runescape I'll pick up that 1 coin you didn't off that drop, it adds up. In real life i pick up pennies and aluminum cans. That's money.

I don't know, I'm just different I guess. :-)

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You Are Not Me!

You are not me and thank all that is good I'm not you because I think I would hate myself. I make decisions regarding my life while taking into account that I do have a little boy to take care of too. And I'd like to think I'm doing an ok job of that.

I took my son to emerald city comic con and sakura con back in march and april this year. I also took him to an improv show with 3 cast members of the guild. Yes, he was just under/over 4 months but I don't think there was anything wrong with what I did.

I have been criticized for everything from what I did and didn't do while i was pregnant to what I let my child play with or where I let him play. Places I take him, things I talk about doing, things I let him eat. I'm sick of it.

Are you his mother? No? Then stfu!

Are you a mother or father? Yes? Then I value your ASKED FOR opinions and advice but if i didn't ask for it, stfu. No? Then stfu!

Unless I ask for it, whether you are a parent or not, don't give me "help" and "advice" that is really criticizing the way I do things. I don't question your parenting. I don't starve or freeze or otherwise abuse my child. He's a happy healthy little boy who loves being around people, playing with his toys, being tickled and swung upside down.

Happy & Healthy. The important things.

And this post is not directed at any of the people whose opinions I very much value and I hope you guys realize that I'm not talking about you. :-)

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September 24 Weight Update

So I tried to type out this whole blog entry yesterday with my phone but lately my phone has been doing this whole "I'm going to quit typing on the keyboard for you hahaha" thing and pissing me off.

So I'm posting it a day later but I did write it yesterday.

So I'm trying really hard not to eat "bad" foods but it's hard to change 23 years worth of eating habits in a few weeks. They say it takes about a month to create a habit so I hope it'll get easier...

Anyway, this week's goal was Sept 24 weigh in 204.8-204.2
And I weighed in at 206.8 so I didn't make the goal. But i also have yet to make my week's goals so maybe I'm being a little too ambitious with the amounts? Or maybe i'm not putting in nearly enough effort?

Last week's weigh in was 209.6 when the goal was 208.2-207.8 which was a loss of 2.4 and that puts this week's loss at 2.8 also, but that's no 3.4-3.6 and I know it's still good but it's frustrating.

I've cut down my portions, been eating kinda better, been going on walks, and it's just slow going.

Next week's goal is the Oct 1 weigh in for 201.4-200.6 but I don't think I'm losing 5lbs this week with my current rate of 2.5 ish.

My goals
- no fried deli food
- no soda
- no desserts over 150 cal
- keep going for walks
- try to do a workout dvd twice (or more) this week (i have 3, 2 from mcd's when I worked there and a tae bo cardio)
- Drink more water, this is really hard for me. I don't know why, but it is.

See you next week (or before then if I feel like posting and you feel like reading)

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growed ups

If I was everything I wanted to be when I was little I'd be an artist, writer, cartoonist, poet, actress, marine biologist, archaeologist, psychologist, treacher, dog trainer, vet, radio dj, Captain of a starfleet ship, stay at home mom in a rock band. Oh, and married to garret wang or wil wheaton. (ensign kim on voyager/wesley crusher on tng)

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In the world of me.

I am Tiffany but who does that make me? I'm a fun loving awkward silly geeky gamer girl and that equates me to the status of unicorns and santa clause. You know, because girls don't play video games. Of course not, because why would a girl like to kill things and actually be good at it?

But I'm the girl who doesn't just want to kill things, but I want to explore every corner, every cave, every aspect of the game. I want to know how to do skills like cooking well so that unlike those people who have to buy the best food, I make enough for myself and some to sell. My cooking and leather working and skinning in WoW was higher than some of the level 70's in my guild.

I always find it interesting when people ask me how I became a gamer. It's funny because for me it's a question I can't answer. That's on part with asking me how I got hair. Or why my eyes are blue. It's how I am, it's who I am, I'm a gamer. I don't remember a time when I didn't play video games. We even used to have this gaming system that had 4 different colored buttons and to had to press the right button. I remember playing the nes at a very young age, gameboy before it was in color and had a touch screen. I remember the first gameboy colors. The color sucked on them. I played super nintendo at my friend amanda's house. I played classic sim city when I was like 9. I played castle of the wins and treasure mountain and jill of the jungle and the oregon trail and the amazon trail and where in the world is carmen san diego... I joke that I was born with a nes controller in my hands but it's really only half a joke. I didn't play muds like my brother did but he tried to get me to play. It confused me. But now what he tried to explain to me makes more sense. I think had he let me ask questions and play more I would have eventually gotten it but I never really did. Besides that I do better with visuals than fast moving text.

Anyway, I think that's what I wanted to say here? I don't know. My random ramblings.

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I Sell Cancer

I know that's a dramatic title for my post but I literally sell nothing that is good and healthy except maybe the beef jerky. I sell candy, gum, 5 hour energy, chips, and tobacco products. Our biggest seller being cigarettes. Hence, I sell cancer.

Every time I id someone and their birthday is between 92 and 85 I want to scream at them. Especially those 92-90 little kids just turned 18 going out buying cigarettes and even sometimes getting them for their friends who are underaged. I know they are old enough to make their own decisions but it's not smart to smoke. It's not cool. It's not healthy. It's not better than doing illegal stuff as some lady tried to tell me once. It's slinky paying astronomical prices for something that will ultimately make you very sick if you continue using it.

There are little kids dying of cancer and have no choice and here you have people willingly going out and buying something that is known to cause cancer. There are people around you who wil get sick because of you. Did you think about that? Your significant other later on down the road could get cancer just because they were around you while you smoked. Or your kid could. Did you know new studies show smoking while pregnant also gives your child a higher risk of becoming addicted to nicotine if they ever smoke?

I used to smoke so don't think I'm on some high horse ranting with no knowledge of what it is like. Of course my quitting circumstances were basically keep feeling insanely nauseous and possibly puke or quit smoking and be healthier for both myself and my baby. I took quitting, obviously. Not to mention good incentive was last year I lost 3 amazing people to cancer.

The first to get sick was my grandpa, he was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in 07 and he went through chemo and radiation like a champ. He was told he had 2 weeks to 2 months when he was diagnosed and he lived about 2.5 years so just goes to show how wrong doctors can be.

The next to get sick was my great uncle darl. He got pancreatic cancer and he passed away in november last year, the last to go.

And then there was my great uncle Bruce, he had a brain tumor. It was weird because his was so sudden and unexpected. I remember being told he fell down in the early morning and nobody knew why and he was taken to the hospital. Then I was told he had an infected tooth our something and the next thing I knew they were saying he had a tumor. Turned out all those years he spent in the navy and all as a dental tech with the x-ray machines have him brain cancer and he was gone so fast I was shocked. I couldn't believe it.

Then in january while I'm trying to find out information about my dad's family to get them birth announcements, I find out that my dad's dad passed away in january so we all took a trip to southeast for that funeral.

My cousin's friend just died of cancer. My friend just told me her grandma has between hiding from the family that she has breast cancer and probably won't make it to christmas. My other friend said her oldest sister didn't tell the family that for the last 2 years she's been getting chemo and stuff for skin cancer and she only told them at her younger sibling's birthday part because she was finally "in remission" or whatever. My cousin's cat had skin cancer even so anyone can be touched by cancer whether they have human family or just pets.

I guess my point is... Put on sunblock and put down the cigarette and don't get cancer.

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Autistic Child Case

I'm recommending to you all this interesting article on cbsnews.com about a 9 year old autistic girl whose family is receiving money in her individual case. read the article and some of the below comments before you read ther rest of my blog entry or it might not make a lot of sense.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20015982-10391695.html

I found this article on my cousin's facebook page and I thought it was too cool not to share with you all. I think it's interesting to know that there are some links to vaccines and autism but the reality is that this is a case specific event. The specific underlying factors in this case are what made it through, and those are not necessarily the same for a lot of cases of autism.

The thing people don't seem to grasp about autism is that it is a spectrum disorder. Some people are totally debilitated by it while others are relatively ok. some people are super smart and have social issues that no amount of "socialization" fixes and some people lack mental capacity due to it. The causes aren't really known but it could just be hard wired into our brains.

People try so hard to find cures and pills to make things all better but sometimes a disorder is just a disorder. Maybe you can't fix it. I think some people are just happy to know there is a reason why they are the way they are. I know I'd partially be happy to officially know if I'm aspie or not. That is an autism spectrum disorder. I'm worried that if I am it might be an issue but then I'm also curious because it would explain a lot. It's weird because I'd like to know but not and it wouldn't change who or how I am but just put an explanation behind it. It's not like I'm not smart because anyone who knows me at all knows that, but I am lacking in some social skills, I'm very "stick in the mud" opinionated. I'll listen to other's opinions but I rarely change mine. I ramble on about random things that most people don't care about. There are other things too but mostly if you look back in my posts there is a site a friend linked to me and it has a test on it. Every time I've taken that test it says I'm probably an aspie.

Anyway, moving on, I wanted to make a commentary on the things listed below by the "nazi conspiracy theorist" who is trying to say that getting vaccinated is causing brain damage. I know that person is saying a lot of things and i know the government isn't the best at letting us know everything but I seriously doubt that evey single person who has gotten vaccinated is brain damaged due to those vaccines. I for one haven't gotten a yearly flu shot and I don't have any autoimmune disorder or anything from childhood vaccines. Of course that person would argue that I don't get yearly flu shots so of course I'm not damaged. But the reason I don't get the shot has nothing to do with mercury or conspiracies and more to do with I feel that my body can handle the germs of the world. I haven't had the flu in... I can't even remember how long, and I get maybe a cold every winter. if I'm unlucky I get 2. I got the h1n1 last year before alex was born only for him. and while I was in the hospital I got the whooping cough one for him too.

I think you'd have to be partly insane to believe everything that person is saying about getting vaccinated. vaccines do help the very young to make it through their childhood healthy. I wouldn't doubt that children survive fine without the vaccines but I would not want to risk my child getting something like the measles or small pox and getting really sick because I didn't get him vaccinated. I do not plan on getting him vaccinated for the flu yearly because I don't think it's necessary. Unless he has any underlying health issues I don't see a problem with not getting one. I have a healthy kid who made it through his first cold and flu season with one cold. I don't shelter him, he goes out and spends time around people. We go to mariners games and conventions and we went to the fair. We ride the bus places and he is a happy healthy kid.

I didn't mean to get off topic. I know I kind of got focused in on my life and my kid but this is my blog too. lol

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September 17 (18) weight

So I was at the puyallup fair yesterday and seriously I don't know anyone who can eat well at the fair. I got scones, the best scones ever. It's like how I can't go to a mariners game and not have garlic fries, puyallup fair scones are exactly the same situation.

I walked a ton, alex couldn't go on any of the rides because he's too short/young, but I went on the roller coaster twice, the swings that go up in the air and around, I went down the giant slide with apparently over 100 stairs, on the haunted mansion ride which was short and surprisingly actually scared me, and then I rode on the antique carousel. (not in that order)

I got a pass from my work that came with 6 rides which is the only reason I went on any rides except the carousel. I got $10 in food from that pass too and at the fair i ate a cheeseburger, fries, 2 scones, some milk, an elephant ear, and tons of water.

We got to see cows and llamas and alpacas and baby pigs. Alex loves seeing the animals so that was nice. He seemed most interested in the extremely active baby pigs. Oh, and we saw some of the 4h dogs.

Getting on with things, I weighed myself yesterday morning but I don't remember what it was and I forgot to post so I did it again this morning and....
209.6....
This week's goal was 208.2-207.8 so I did not reach this week's goal.
Last week I was 212 so that was a change of 2.4 which is still pretty good.

Sept 24 weigh in 204.8-204.2 <- next friday

My goals for the next week
- again no fried deli food as I failed that last week
- keep trying to go for walks
- no soda
- no deserts over 150 calories
- more water (I'm really bad about drinking water)

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Geek and Gamer Girls

Now I know that not a lot of people may not have seen this video. There are some who don't care. Heck, most people probably don't even care about my opinion of this but along the lines of anomaly podcast who are geeky girls I too am an "anomaly" and I want to say something.

If you haven't seen the video yet you should go watch it. Basically some geeky girls got together and write a parody of California Girls. I don't like the original song at all in the first place. I think it, along with other songs by Katy Perry, is annoying, stereotypical, and degrading. I like a few of her songs mostly because they are poppy and catchy.

I absolutely loved everything about this video and song at first. I watched it then I read a blog. I watched it again. I read comments on the video and on the blog and I watched the video a third time. The song is catchy. It's Katy Perry catchy. But the video portrays women who are geeks and gamers to be precisely the objects of men's fantasies. Yes some gamer girls are hot. Michelle Boyd, Felicia Day, etc. But whether we are all hot or not shouldn't matter when it comes to kicking ass at video games. They put strategically placed geeky objects to hide the naughty bits of their naked bodies laying on a bed of comics. That's totally how geeky gamer girls want to NOT be seen by guys. Imo.

I could go into more extensive detail but I'd rather just direct you to another blog. The one I read that made me see other things. I (mostly) share anne's opinion.

Alas! Twitter!
spaltor: Check it out & join the discussion in the "comments." RT @Sevryll Anomalous Musings: Anomaly of: Geek and Gamer Girls http://t.co/LIGBJkF

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My SDCC cosplays

So sdcc is 4 days and while I have 5 cosplay outfits they are mostly not comic con outfits. I have a chinese dress, a kimono, a hell girl school outfit, a princess serenity dress, and a rocket grunt outfit. My plans to make my might elf rogue outfit are coming together nicely. So for sdcc I was thinking sci-fi tv, computer gaming, comic hero, console gamer. I came up with Classic Trek for tv, WoW for computer gamer, basing of my ability to lose weight, either cat woman or wonder woman for comic hero, and I'm not sure if using my rocket grunt and alexchu hat (if it still fits him then) will work our not even tho pokemon is pretty well known across the span of geeks.

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So....

I had a deli burrito for "lunch" today. And some ice cream but it wasn't even 1/4 of the container. But I didn't say I wasn't going to eat ice cream. I said no deli food. Fail. Oh well.
At last it tasted good. :-)

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September 10 weigh in

The results are in. 212.0
It's no 211.5 but it's better than I expected.

No previous week goal

Next week's goal - 208.2-207.8

This week's plan...
No soda
More water
No fried deli food or microwave meals for work lunch breaks.
Exercise at least 3x (even if it's just a walk around the complex)

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Weight Goals Outlined

I felt like I needed an official goal outlined for my weight. As you all know, my lovely readers, I'm trying to be healthier for my son. Well, and for myself. Some know of my "project x" web series plans and I want to slim down a bit before filming happens too. I know that sounds a bit shallow, vain, etc. But hey, at least I'm being honest.

So I set myself a difficult but not impossible goal. If I exceed my goal 1 week then that means I work just as hard the next week. If I fail to reach my goal 1 week I work harder the next week. If I don't reach my goal that's ok but it's a goal ZONE I'm trying for and the lower it gets the farther apart the zone gets. My goal is to reach 135-140 lbs by my february 4, 2011 weigh in.

I will weigh in every friday around noon and record my weight here on my blog. I will also list here my goals for every week now on this blog. Also on my friday blogs I will list the previous weeks goal + success or failure to meet it and also the next week's goal.

To reach my goal...
Sept 10 weigh in should be at or below 211.5
Sept 17 weigh in 208.2-207.8
Sept 24 weigh in 204.8-204.2
Oct 1 weigh in 201.4-200.6
Oct 8 weigh in 198.0-!97.0
Oct 15 weigh in 194.6-193.4
Oct 22 weigh in 191.2-189.8
Oct 29 weigh in 187.8-186.2
Nov 5 weigh in 184.4-182.6
Nov 12 weigh in 181.0-179.0
Nov 19 weigh in 177.6-175.4
Nov 26 weigh in 174.2-171.8
Dec 3 weigh in 170.8-168.2
Dec 10 weigh in 167.4-164.6
Dec 17 weigh in 164.0-161.0
Dec 24 weigh in 160.6-157.4
Dec 31 weigh in 157.2-153.8
Jan 7 weigh in 153.8-150.2
Jan 14 weigh in 150.4-146.6
Jan 21 weigh in 147.0-143.0
Jan 28 weigh in 143.6-139.4
February 4 final weigh in 140.2-135.8

The first weight listed is decreasing at 3.4, the second is decreasing at 3.6. Each week the closer i am to the lower number, the better. But the higher number is there to help me not get frustrated with myself, angry, give up, etc. I was hoping for more readers interested in keeping me on track but so far i haven't posted my weight in a few weeks and nobody has commented. It's ultimately my choice but the thought of having to check in and having people knowing what is going on was supposed to help. It's hard to want to exercise when it's hot outside, or you've been at work all day. It's hard to want to eat healthier when it's easier to just get deli food... Just saying....

I know I'll probably hit a plateau at some point before my goal. Maybe several. But my point is to TRY. If I stay stuck too long I might extend my deadline a little. See, there are several reasons for that peculiar date.
- It's right at the start of con seaton for me.
- It's approximately 5 months away (give or take a week) and that seems reasonable.
- It gives me maintenance time before summer (can I get there AND stay there until summer hits?)
- my original goal was my birthday to new years and this is the closest reasonable time period/weight goal ratio now
- Avoidance of major workouts happening in the summer heat.

There are more reasons, but I'm sure you're sick of reading my blog now, lovely reader. Have a good day. I'll be posting my (highly unlikely under 211.5) weight tomorrow.

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So...

So I'm kind of mad at myself because I was supposed to call and I forgot and now I don't know what I'm going to do really because i may our may not be able to get something done now.

I know, somewhat cryptic.

I'm also frustrated because someone not too long ago accused me of not being able to let anything go. The things that have happened in my life in the last several years are my business, nobody else's. The way I feel about the people I interact with, how I interact with them, and the things i do and don't do with or around them are my choices. You never have and never will walk my life so who are you to point out nonexistant flaws? I don't have to trust someone to forgive them. They are not the same thing. I can forgive the person who wronged me but not trust them. They might be "one and the same" to you but I'm not you. Would you trust someone who stole from you? Probably not, but you could forgive them. Would you trust someone who lied to you? Probably not but also, you could forgive them. Would you trust someone who hurt you in some way, abused you somehow? Probably not, but once again that is someone you could forgive. It's not one and the same.

Trust 1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

Forgive 1. To excuse for a fault or an offense pardon 2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

Last I checked excusing a fault and renouncing anger and resentment doesn't mean that you feel like you can rely on that person's integrity or character. Maybe that's just me. Doubt it though.

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I'm a radical thinker

I know, totally radical concepts. At my work there are 10 gas pumps. 4 to the left, 4 to the right, and 2 in the middle. We have 12 tall orange cones. 2 hold the free swinging doors of our supply cabinet. You would think the other 10 would be placed as the pumps, 4 to the left, 4 to the right, 2 in the middle. Nope. They are arranged 90% of the time 3 to the left, 3 to the right, 4 in the middle. Does this make sense to you? Because I fail to see the logic or practicality in this cone to pump arrangement. I realize it's a radical thought, but the number of cones in the lane might be better off as the same as the number of pumps in the lane. Call me crazy....

Now inside the kiosk we have a nice squishy pad to stand on and a little movable wooden post holding up the right counter. When the pad is positioned the long way (short end closest to pass through drawer) the little wooden post can be placed at the farthest corner of the counter for maximum stability of our counter. Also when the mat and post are in those positions they don't block the safe door or drop spot. This makes sense to keep it in this position, right? Then why do i come in to find it changed in the morning constantly? The post so far in that ther counter is unstable, the may and post blocking access to to safe door and drop slot. again, i realize this is a radical concept, to do things logically...

Insanity, right? Lol

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Writing part 2

I gasped in pain as I felt it spread from my stomach throughout my body. I couldn't think of anything else, not even the red haze that had flooded my vision. It was as though all my limbs had fallen asleep and were experiencing simultaneous "pins and needles" only worse.

Then just as suddenly as it started, the pain was gone without even a lingering memory of it. I tested out my fingers slowly then finding them ok I stretched out and hopped off the counter. The world was still red and no amount of rubbing or blinking was changing that.

I looked around and then focused on Darius. He had a massive grin on his face so naturally I pulled back and punched him straight in the jaw. His head whipped around them he snapped back to face me. Instead of being angry, he laughed.

"What the hell, D!" I glared at him.

"Feeling better?"

"Wha-um well actually," I paused and stretched again. I looked myself up and down critically. I jumped around and danced a little while Darius looked on amused. "Ok, yes, I feel better. In fact I feel better than I've ever felt in my life. Now what did you give me?"

"Just a little witches brew. You'll need more but that was the worst of it. It shouldn't hurt more but it'll taste worse and worse. You'll die without it though."

I stopped dancing around and glared at him some more. "Well thanks for warning me before I drank it," I spat at him sarcastically, "and the red vision?"

"That'll go away with more brew. You shouldn't complain. You were dying already anyway or I wouldn't have done this to you."

"Wait, what?"

"You should have gone to the dr. You have extremely low blood pressure. Low bone density. No appetite. You're never comfortable, always hurting yourself, getting bruises. Your clothes are practically falling off of your skinny body. Headaches, abdominal cramps, did you really think you were ok? Honey, it's called cancer. Fast spreading and untreated for years. We're fixing you now. Don't worry about it."

I sat down hard in a chair and let that sink in. No, it can't be cancer.only old people and smokers and people who used tanning beds got cancer. Not trying to graduate from community college people. People like me didn't get cancer. My red vision got blurry as the tears started, my mind still reeling from the blow.

"Wait, how do you know I have cancer, Darius? I haven't been to see a doctor since high school and if I have it then it's never been diagnosed."

Darius made a pained face before he turned away from me and busied himself with getting a glass of water. He cleared his throat and slowly filled the glass. "Do you remember back when we first met?" he asked as he turned back to face me.

"Sure, it was my senior year of high school. My cousin Sherry convinced me to go to prom and promised me she had a cute date for me. I was going to back out at the last minute because I didn't have a dress and I'd gotten some particularly ugly bruises on my arms. Then you showed up on my doorstep with a beautiful purple dress with long mesh sleeves."

"Sherry warned me you might not have anything to wear. I just got something I liked."

"It was perfect."

"That dress fit you prefect and it was a size 4. I know you aren't one of those eating disorder girls, but that dress would be way too big for you now. You might not have noticed but the double digits aren't the place to reside."

"I know that but you try explaining that to my stomach. And speaking of explaining, how do you know I have cancer?"

"I knew things were wrong, I just didn't know how bad until a little over 2 years ago. You accidentally cut your hand and couldn't get it to stop bleeding. I said I could help and took off your bandage, put on some cream, and it stopped. Well my cousin helped me out and tested your blood. You came out positive for cancer, and positive for traits."

"Traits?"

"Yes, traits are the only reason it's ok for me to give you the brew. If you weren't positive it would just kill you."

-I'll write more at a later date..

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