My Weight Loss Tracker

21 August 2010


I am an awkward person. I readily admit this fact upon inquiry but it makes my interactions with others awkward also. And if they are or aren't awkward also, this still is weird.

I just got off the phone with my friends who think it's funny to joke about how my mind works to overanalyze things and how I'm kinda really into this person but am afraid of stuff. And apparently I'm a "big baby" because I can't take a joke about it. That kinda hurt. I mean what, my feelings being hurry by your joke then again by your blaise response to my being upset on top of that... Great friends.

Basically the gist is I'm kinda into this guy I've known for quite some time and I tend to analyze good decent things to their analytical deaths. Like right now I'm afraid that my last things I said were wrong. That maybe i ruined my every chance at this with that. And that would suck. It's like my friend said, she hasn't seen me this worked up and into a guy in a long time. It's true I guess.

The last guy I was with was chris and I haven't been with him actually out on a date or just to hang out in a long time. Including that I haven't been *with* someone since before I found out i was pregnant. Not that a relationship is about sex. That's just a dynamic of the relationship when it reaches that particular point.

I like this guy. He's funny and sweet and caring. I've known him for a long time and we have stuff in common. Like we both hate that dropping feeling elevators give you. We both like cats and cookies. We agree that there is probably an anime somewhere out there that has cats eating cookies while riding on unicorns. And if there isn't there should be. We both love books and drawing and writing. And we both like our feet. :-)

I know those might seem like weird things, but they aren't. They are great things. But my brain is frustrating me, making me think I'm stupid to think anything could come of this that is any better then all my other crap relationships. That there is any point to this because I might destroy a great friendship. Or I might have already done the damage.

Silly tiffany, the people love you, but they don't LOVE you....
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