My Weight Loss Tracker

26 November 2010

Never gonna happen....

I tweet, I'm on twitter a lot and I have a moderate amount of followers but it's kind of funny how I feel so distanced from those I would call friends. I tweet a lot more than I update facebook though it used to be the other way around. You can follow me on twitter if you don't already. That's @amazon626

I get such in my head, random thoughts sometimes. That's a problem tonight too, among other things... The thing that really gets me stuck in the endless thought spiral tonight?

Love. Straight up honest pure love.

See I tweeted earlier - I'm female. I'm gentle and powerful. I'm sweet and bitchy. I'm generous and manipulative. I'm solid and mercurial. You know you love us. <3

A friend tweeted a reply saying "/me runs away" and he's a sweet guy who is awesome. I know he was just joking around, not that I'd ever be physically close enough to him for running away to be necessary, but that's beside the point... Anyway, I responded with joking that this is what most do. Joking but it's true. No, not really. The truth is worse than running. The truth is I make a good slut. Yes, you read that right, slut.

Guys either see me as a friend, one of the guys, or an easy fuck along the way to someone they would rather be with. I dare you to deny that honestly. Does any guy even see my heart? See it as something real, worth holding and not crushing? Doubtful...

And besides that, good kind sweet guys, they don't want to date a single mom because they want something different. I might want to get married and have a real family and all that but like the title says....that ain't ever gonna happen. Never. And that's ok because I resigned myself to that fact years ago.

I know some people get so put off by my "negative thinking" but I don't see it that way. Real life isn't like a romance novel where some handsome man finally comes along and we live happily ever after (and of course, always have an orgasm and see stars when making love after going horseback riding on a vast beach....) because real life doesn't do that. Real life is the thing that slaps you around when you dream too big. So I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic.
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1 comment:

  1. Wow! How honest can you be? I'm impressed.

    and CongratulaShunZ on the NaNoWriMo victory (which is how I found your blog).