My Weight Loss Tracker

29 September 2010

"That's a bit OCD don't you think?"

I was told this today by the morning fuel center guy when I came in to the kiosk and checked the drawer total and commented that someone again had dropped a dollar amount into the safe that wasn't a $50 or $100 increment. My reaction to this in my mind?
Really? REALLY!? I wonder if he's never noticed how I rearrange things in the kiosk that he's moved BACK to the way they were. I wonder if he's ever noticed how I move the cones the way I like them and think logically they should be. I wonder if he's ever noticed how many times I do these things. Every shift. And he moves them back. He tries to impose how he works, how he does things on me by letting me know how he does it. I ignore how he does it. How I do it works. I don't like change. I like routine. I like the garbage can to be there when i blindly throw my crumpled notes where it always was, not where I never remember he's moved it to. Because oh gee, I AM OCD! No wonder those things I do "seem a bit OCD" to you. They are! I am!

What I actually said? "Well I am kinda OCD" He replies "Just let it go" I reply "easier said than done" and once have the opportunity to, I do a drop that balances the drop amount to what I think it should be, ending in "50.00" or "00.00" instead of the "10.00" it said when I checked it.

It's how I am. It's what I do. It's who I am. People shouldn't try to change that.

A manager once tried to make me do my section inside the store the "wrong" way. Back before I saturated working out at fuel regularly I was on the sales floor and I recovered and customer serviced the area known as "paint through variety" which was paint, auto, plumbing, tools, lightbulbs, lamps, curtains, rugs, pillows. That was the way I recovered my section. Starting at paint and ending at pillows. Well I made a PIC mad or frustrated with me and she threatened to send me home early if I didn't go to the pillows and recover my section. I tried to tell heer I was going to paint right then to do that, but she was mad or whatev and wouldn't listen to me. So I went to pillows. I really really tried to do them. I did. I wound up sitting on the flor barely straightening the pillows trying really hard not to cry. I couldn't make myself start at pillows.

My coworkers and managers don't have to get it to just accept it as it is. I don't get why people do things sometimes but that doesn't mean I don't accept it. I just shrug and do my thing. That's simple enough a thing to do.

It's like in video games, I have to do my thing, which happens to be everything. I'm not focused on winning the game, getting the max level character, being the highest ranked, I just want to figure out everything. I want to know why that cave is over there. I want to know how the high priestess came into her position. I want to know why the night elves and dwarves get along but the trolls and blood elves are on the other faction. I want to do all the quests even if it's a starting zone quest and worthless for anything more than just doing it. How in runescape I'll pick up that 1 coin you didn't off that drop, it adds up. In real life i pick up pennies and aluminum cans. That's money.

I don't know, I'm just different I guess. :-)
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